print hate.

omfg. why are all printers pieces of shit?! seriously. i have never, ever owned a printer that worked consistently for more than a month.

my boyfriend recently replaced my old, cheap hp deskjet for some kind of shitty lexmark office bullshit. this sucker has a fucking fax machine attached. and little phone handset! like for a land line! i moved out of my parents’ house like six years ago and not once even used a land line since then.

anyway, this thing has all these annoying phrases like “PRINTING STARTED” and “THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THE PRINTER” when it does shit. so basically what happens is every single time i try to print anything at all it says “PRINTING STARTED” and then “THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THE PRINTER.” it usually wants me to clear out some imaginary paper jam or reload the the paper tray, which is FULL btw, but not this time. no, this time it’s just not printing.

oh, no reason in particular. the little screen is urging me to enter a fax number, and the print queue is just sitting there, mocking me, with its little “Printing!” status next to my document. BULLSHIT! YOU ARE NOT PRINTING! YOU ARE SIMPLY ABSORBING ELECTRICITY!

ugh and it’s nearly five am and i have five hours to be in class with this stupid five page paper i wrote about some god-awful eighteenth century novel and here we are! just sitting! not printing!

555. the mark of the inkjet beast.

omg.

i always see this and think, wow, what insight into myself, why would i ever stop writing these ridiculous beacons of hope for other people who suck at life?

and then i realize i haven’t updated it in like a year but that’s what i said i was going to do in the very beginning so i guess it’s okay right? because i’m on track.

i’ve been doing way better lately! except that i have a big ol’ pile of bills and just got back from a major cash-extruding vacation and also my boyfriend and i blew through like five grand of tuition loans in like three months or so.

pfft. workin’ on a wordpress project, so i’ll be back.

dragging on.

okay so. have only cried once! need to cry again, presumably. it is way too late for me to be up, because possibly tomorrow i must do laundry (ha) and drive to the jail to deposit money in my criminal boy’s commissary account. i have been writing him vigilantly and doubt he will be able to write back without money in that account! also visitations are on saturday and sunday and perhaps i will get lucky and squeeze in there!

today i have been working very hard to keep busy and it has been successful. i attended a mary kay party and spent like $100 on mineral foundation and hand creme. eh. also i went to see there will be blood and while i’ll concur, with the world that is, that it was very well done and this daniel day lewis guy was fabulous, i will also say that there could have easily been an hour’s worth of film cut from the final production. was the pacing sloooow or what? my ass went numb at least seven times, which is far too many.

also, ernie posted an internet meme that i had not really heard of before, and after visiting the gallery i created my own! take this wedding reception haters!

six hours in.

so, i’ve lived alone for about six hours now. i’ve been in class for two of these hours, so there’s not much more damage to the house, but i’ve realized that i’m the only person who is responsible for cleaning it at this point. i can’t seem to schedule in a scrubbing session in between my hectic work/school/rss feed schedule, so i guess i will just have to either let it go until the day before he gets out, or hire a cleaning service.

bets on the former?

lonesome.

today the boy went to jail for a month for a dui. it was bullshit too, two beers on an empty stomach and driving five miles over the speed limit. his lawyer had all faith in him, until he got his check, and then convinced us that the minimum-sentence plea bargain he procured was our best bet.

i’ve never lived on my own before, and knowing my past habits this will not turn out so well. let’s just hope that by the time he gets out i am not living in squalor or a cardboard box.

fuck it.

i am not going to class and i will tell you why right now.

out of 13 possible classes last week, i made it to 3. that is fucking pathetic. but here are my excuses:

9am class, missed four times: he just rehashes the text book anyway! i actually read the text book and i know he’s rehashing so why do i need to go listen to him? i do not and it would be a waste of my hard earned text book money to continue to do so. not attending my 9am class is thrifty.

10am class, missed four times: this is one that i absolutely need to go to but hear me out: they were accidents. accidental missings. the first two was like i don’t know the alarm didn’t go off properly or something. and the second two were like my boyfriend had to go to court so i guess that’s just one. okay alarm clock again. i swear i sleep snooze.

12pm class, missed once. i have a two-hour noon class every day monday through thursday and i missed it on tuesday this week. OH YES NOW I REMEMBER monday was my boyfriend’s birthday and he and his loud friends were over here playing video games and drinking beer and i didn’t get any sleep at all. it was ridiculous. you would have slept until 2 in the afternoon too.

okay so that’s like…nine. which doesn’t make sense. uh. also i think i may have 12 classes a week instead of 13. WHATEVER. the point is i’ll still do awesome in school and everything will be peachy so don’t you worry.

holy shit

i’m gonna be late for class never mind i guess!

i am a master chef.

oh my god i can’t even belive how awesome i am right now. i’m dining on a custom spinach pizza with garlic and tomatoes and too much parmesan cheese that i made ALL BY MYSELF. holy shit. here is the recipe so that this moment will be spread about the internets and i will be rejoiced by the white pizza-eating followers of the world. i suck at measurements and i didn’t measure any of this so suck it.

creamy spinach tomato pizza

spinach
olive oil
garlic
salt & pepper
heavy whipping cream
shredded mozzarella & parmesan
real bacon bits (optional)
pizza crust of choice (i just used pillsbury.)

throw that spinach and olive oil in a pan on medium heat, salt and pepper to taste, and stir occasionally until spinach becomes little dark green slivers. mince garlic and add that to the spinach (i wouldn’t start it in the pot with it.) slice tomatoes. while this is going on get your crust ready!

after spinach is slimy and delicious, throw in some heavy whipping cream. i don’t know how much, just to cover i guess. now pump up your heat and boil that shit until it’s reduced and thick. throw in a bunch of parmesan while it’s boiling, that way it’s more likely to work itself in and not just bunch up all over your spoon. once it had the consistency of spinach artichoke dip, turn off the heat and let it rest for a minute.

when it cools a bit, throw that shit on a crust, top with mozzarella, tomatoes, more parmesan, and bacon bits. bake until melty and golden brown. mmm.

this might be the most illiterate sounding recipe i’ve ever seen.

six days later.

so the boy and i bought an xbox 360. this has come to no surprise to anybody because we are giant nerds and must have all forms of media available. there is no excuse to ever be bored at our house because with this new purchase we now have a wii, ps2, ds, all kinds of games for each one, a respectable dvd library, and a wireless network. what am i missing? oh yes debt up to our eyebrows.

if you need me i will be rocking out to guitar hero or possibly attending to my piñatas.

coming back.

do you see the procrastination here?!

it’s been welly well well over a year. almost two years! i can’t even update the blog that i made about procrastination and how horrible i am at life because that is how horrible at life that i am.

okay then. let’s play catchup. perhaps this should be in list form. i like bullets.

• still in college.
• different job. less time, more money.
• boyfriend. live-in.
• blonde now.
• still suck at going to class.
• and doing assignments.
• and paying tuition on time.
• and paying other bills on time.
• still need to schedule a dentist appointment.
• still need to pay off credit cards.
• still not sure what to do with myself.
• still not sure that i can update this.